No Mooching!
By David Lamm
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Of Tailgater Monthly Magazine
A recent episode of The Simpsons entitled "Any Given Sundance" had Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie tailgating before a football game.
A funny exchange ensued between father and son when Bart discovered that Homer brought plates and forks but no food.
Bart: Dad, all you brought were forks and plates. Where's the food?
Homer: What food? The food is all around us.
Bart: You brought us here to beg?
Homer: Ah, ah, ah. When you know the people you are begging from it is called 'mooching'.
Of course I laughed but it got me to thinking at the same time. Why is mooching so prevalent while tailgating and why is it tolerated? I am not a stingy or ungenerous tailgater by any stretch of the imagination. On the flip side, there seems to be an inordinate amount of moochers roaming the parking lots these days.
Tailgating has been called the last great American neighborhood where no one locks their doors and everyone shares what they brought. If you forgot the mustard you can always ask your neighbors tailgating next to you if you can have some of theirs. And 99 out of 100 times they will offer it up gladly. The problem with this generosity is that some people come to expect it and will take advantage of it by bringing nothing to a tailgate party.
Tailgating is about sharing good food, good drink and good conversation. The key word is SHARING. When the moochers show up empty handed but expect you to open up your buffet table for them to graze, they now have turned your tailgate party into a soup kitchen. I am not suggesting those properly prepared tailgaters start charging a cover or rationing out what they will share. I am suggesting we as a tailgating nation need to be more conscious of those around us and not just rely on people's willingness to hand out food like we are UNICEF.
Spotting a chronic moocher versus just a forgetful tailgater is easy.
Forgetful tailgaters are just that, forgetful. They may have brought everything they need but left their lighter fluid in the garage or the catsup bottle in the fridge. The Moocher typically travels much lighter and a lot less prepared. Moochers are very personable and likable and have excellent verbal skills to strike up a conversation with almost anyone. Moochers are clever and will pick out the smallest detail at a tailgate party and use it as a conversation starter. Casually commenting on the player's jersey someone may be wearing and mentioning how that player was his favorite while growing up is a popular technique to gain entrance and acceptance.
Female moochers tend to not be as cunning and conversational. Many female moochers prey on the libido of men who enjoy the fact that their tailgate party now has girls in attendance. The female moocher tends to flirt and giggle quite a bit to endear herself to the tailgating host.
A sure fire way to spot a potential moocher is that they are completely empty handed. They may be toting a beer or a cup in one hand but this is probably an item they took away from the last tailgate they visited. The typical moocher normally will hang around until food or drink is offered to them but some are bold enough to ask if they can help themselves. Normally these advances on the food table or the beer cooler are accompanied by claims of 'my beer cooler is just a few parking stalls away' or 'I'll replace double the amount that I drink.' If they do replenish your supply it is normally half as many and also is typically a substandard and less expensive brand than you brought.
Keep a trained eye out for the tailgating moocher and whatever you do, don't be a moocher yourself. Being a part of the last American neighborhood is about sharing and not all about receiving.
Click Here for Complimentary Digital Edition
Of Tailgater Monthly Magazine
